With all the holiday hubbub abounding around us, I feel the need to add in a little touch of my own grinchy-ness. People keep asking about the gifts my kids will be getting, all the elaborate plans we should be making, and all the money we're supposed to be spending. It's about time that I come clean. I am a Low Bar Parent. You've heard of Helicopter Parents, Free Range Parenting, Crunchy Granola Hippies, etc. That's all well and good but there's no possible way I could keep up with any of that, so I don't try. In fact, my parenting goal is to set the bar so very (very, very) low that when I do get around to making some sort of effort, it's seen as magnificent (when in fact, it's probably not). I'm pretty sure that bar is resting on the ground sometimes.
For example:
I don't buy my kids things (unless it's bike-related). They get so much stuff from other people that I figure my contribution would just get lost in the shuffle. They might start noticing as they get older so I'm holding off until then. They're so happy with what they already have (and it helps that I don't take them shopping unless it's for food or I absolutely have to).
This includes holidays and birthdays, actually. My rule was that I wasn't going to throw them a birthday party until they could actually remember it. Big Brother's just about to that age and he did have his first real party at a playground with some friends last year for his big 6. This year, we were going to go all out with a Funderland Party but it got rained out and 2 months later still has yet to be rescheduled.
I don't sign them up for extracurricular activities. Swimming has been the one exception and that's because it's a necessary lifeskill. They're kids and as much as I love them, neither one is going to be the next piano prodigy and I'm totally cool with that.
I say no. A lot. Actually, it's more like "nah." As in, "Can we go to Disneyland?" "Nah."
I let them leave the house without a jacket, if it's really that important to them. If they get cold, I tell them to remember that feeling for next time and hope they do.
They do their own school projects and homework, even if that means theirs is covered in masking tape while everyone else's was glue gunned by their parents. It's their homework and I will be proud of whatever it is they accomplish with their own effort.
If Kid A asks why Kid B got something that was perceived to be better, I tell them that it's because I love kid B more (that's the one that's going to send them into therapy).
It's the same reason that I choose to bike instead of drive. I'm just too dang lazy! Driving takes so much focus to not kill anyone, so much wasted energy trying to find parking and not scream at other people, not to mention all the money that disappears with every mile. Biking is fun and I'm a total hedonist. I'd rather get my exercise, enjoy "rock star parking," eat a ton of food, and not feel too terribly guilty like I'm destroying the planet all the time.
So, enjoy your time with your friends and family during this holiday season and do whatever it is that makes you happy (within reason and without hurting anyone, those are my only caveats).
For example:
I don't buy my kids things (unless it's bike-related). They get so much stuff from other people that I figure my contribution would just get lost in the shuffle. They might start noticing as they get older so I'm holding off until then. They're so happy with what they already have (and it helps that I don't take them shopping unless it's for food or I absolutely have to).
This includes holidays and birthdays, actually. My rule was that I wasn't going to throw them a birthday party until they could actually remember it. Big Brother's just about to that age and he did have his first real party at a playground with some friends last year for his big 6. This year, we were going to go all out with a Funderland Party but it got rained out and 2 months later still has yet to be rescheduled.
I don't sign them up for extracurricular activities. Swimming has been the one exception and that's because it's a necessary lifeskill. They're kids and as much as I love them, neither one is going to be the next piano prodigy and I'm totally cool with that.
I say no. A lot. Actually, it's more like "nah." As in, "Can we go to Disneyland?" "Nah."
I let them leave the house without a jacket, if it's really that important to them. If they get cold, I tell them to remember that feeling for next time and hope they do.
They do their own school projects and homework, even if that means theirs is covered in masking tape while everyone else's was glue gunned by their parents. It's their homework and I will be proud of whatever it is they accomplish with their own effort.
If Kid A asks why Kid B got something that was perceived to be better, I tell them that it's because I love kid B more (that's the one that's going to send them into therapy).
It's the same reason that I choose to bike instead of drive. I'm just too dang lazy! Driving takes so much focus to not kill anyone, so much wasted energy trying to find parking and not scream at other people, not to mention all the money that disappears with every mile. Biking is fun and I'm a total hedonist. I'd rather get my exercise, enjoy "rock star parking," eat a ton of food, and not feel too terribly guilty like I'm destroying the planet all the time.
So, enjoy your time with your friends and family during this holiday season and do whatever it is that makes you happy (within reason and without hurting anyone, those are my only caveats).
I don't let Big Brother have any friends so he made his own Bryce Harper in our backyard.
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